I need to start taking myself seriously. instead of just overlooking everything all the time.Red/sore eyes has been hitting me almost every month and today is the second time this month. I've been nagged by friends esp Mich, to see a doctor about it but I just keep putting it off, thinking it'll heal in a day or two and I'll be fine. & I also hate going to the doctors, I get frustrated at the waiting time and my mentality would be "why am I paying to suffer??"
I don't know why but, this morning, I woke up with an immense fear of going blind and so I avoided wearing my contacts & took a day off work. The past few days I was in the office and the pain of staring at the screen to do work was really unbearable. But knowing myself too well, it's only within minutes after this post I would go back to neglecting this issue. I'm making this a meaningless cycle.
Talking about cycles, someone I know half my life has been trampling on our friendship time and time again. & each and every time she comes back, I gave her nothing but support and care. Even though I tell myself it's the last time I let her indulge me with her lies, I never respect myself enough to honor my own words. Few days ago she dropped a huge bomb on me, with no explanation for it she expected me to be there for her. I agreed without any hesitation. But now I'm beginning to question if this should really be the last straw. It's rather clear I'm always a substitutional being when it comes to priorities. I've never been placed in any higher regard before. So for myself, I guess this is it, I hope it ends here.
Right now I would die to have a cup of Koi but I'm cooped up home nursing this wicked infection before my trip in 4 days. Right.... my trip. Zero mood for it right now.
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