My life is like blistered feet. It hurts with every step but I still have to keep walking.

Maybe I'm really not cut out for all these.
Like what everyone says, I get paid to play and have fun at work. I'm only worth all that.

To people they think I only have this much to offer, so I don't deserve what I'm getting, I'm ony capable of having fun. With no qualifications, this is what I get. Nobody would even care to think that I have the potential for this, that it is kind of rude to only laugh that I'm having fun at work all the time.

But would anyone listen if I had complains on work? No one would want to hear or know, because no one understands what happens here so who wants to be filled in on boring details? So saving that trouble of that, and I get this.

Qualifications are all that matter in this society, one fucking piece of paper can do so much to your life. I really don't see any reason why I should not further my studies.
After raising all kinds of objection to defend myself, my future, I get put down to nothing. I get compared to other people having a hard time. Are they trying to say I'm stupid I'll never get there?

So what, I don't deserve to study because I don't have richass parents/relatives to pay for my education? I have been independent since 17 and so every penny I decide to splurge or save on is my own concern and I'm proud of it. Not being filthy rich doesn't give me a right to study? WHAT? Come again?

I'm not worthy of respect, not worthy of doing a good job, not worthy of being a friend, not worthy of the many things people are worthy of.
I get it already. Quit rubbing it in.

Why is yesterday and today such a huge difference.
Why is it so hard to be happy even for awhile.


xx
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld