I really hate how I am clueless about my life.
I'm always saying I wanna do this I wanna do that but I never got around to doing it. People can be so clear and sure of what they wanna do so why is it so hard for me? All I do is procrastinate and push everything to my endless talk of tomorrows. But the tomorrow never came.
Really sucks to be me I just wish I can be more decisive w things and not be so scared of what's coming. I'm always considering things so far away when it hasn't even happen.
I can see where I'll be if I spend my whole life worrying over things which hadn't even happen- NOWHERE.
But this really sucks y'know, wanting to find a job with a better paycheck but my qualifications just don't really suffice. Wanting to continue pursuing my studies, but i'm not doing anything bout it! Actually I'm caught between getting a pte dip or retaking my olvls, which I find it a lil waste of time, olvls-wise, since i've been there and failed it. I don't really know if i can have enough motivation to do it again...
See, here I am worrying again.
Say if I retook my olvls, I can try out the option my aunt suggested to me, with the help of my friends, maybe i can do a better job second time round? BUT WHAT IF I DON'T??? I'm like back to square one, lousy qualifications!
So i wanna save money before all is possible, which means I need quit my current job which pays me SHIT and get a better one. But then I would need quali to show people I deserve a good paycheck. So which one first goddamnit!
Fuck this shit I really hate how I am clueless about my life.
